Groundhog Day | Lockdown 2.0

The new lockdown seems like a repeat in SO many respects, yet for many of us it is far worse than the first. The novelty has thoroughly worn off, and it is starting to feel like the new normal, rather than the anomaly of 2020. Us parents have little fuel in the tank, after the challenges of the past year. From a psychological perspective, society is moving from a crisis mode to a more chronic mode of worry. We are feeling, quite rightly, new worries about whether this will end, whether we will ever return to normal, and how to parent in the context of lock down/open up; rinse and repeat. In this way, the tools we need to draw on also must change. Finding ways to live and parent in a more uncertain world. 

Probably the most important part of this is to pause and acknowledge the progressive effects of uncertainty. This takes regular conversations, rather than merely hoping it will pass (we are all hoping it will, of course). And making sure we and our children keep connecting via whatever means we have, whether via Zoom or other distance means. Children will absorb the mood. If we consciously try to take the power out of the pandemic shocks, they will follow suit. In some respects, changing our own mindsets, will have a flow-on effect for our children. 

We can’t however, be too hard on ourselves. It is not possible to create normality in extraordinary circumstances like these. We can however, be comforted by the fact that exposing children to challenges and difficult emotions does not harm them. In fact, as Brené Brown, a firm favourite author on the bookshelf says, “what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults.” Sitting with vulnerability – another of Brené ’s themes – is, however, probably the swiftest path to a happy-enough life for us, and our children, even in lock down.