When constant change becomes the new normal.
From many conversations with many fellow parents and MSS teachers, I hear that we are realising that life may just “never quite return to normal”, post-the-year-that-was…2020. The way we think, interact, and live will likely be changed for a long time to come as we continue to stay vigilant of viruses and bugs; vigilant of people standing too close to each other, of what we touch, and what we breathe. The ‘new normal’ seems to be ongoing change: from border shutdowns, to people-per-square-metre rules, to the use of facemasks, to the roll out of vaccines. And of course, our new normal is to a smaller and more local world.
What is also clear is that many of us continue to feel and experience the ongoing impacts of the pandemic, regardless of the dangers it may currently present to Australians. Much of this comes from the jolt of the pandemic, which reverberates as 2021 ambles on, and shows up in relationships, work and family life more generally.
Remnants of our feelings of anxiety is probably the most obvious feature of this ‘new normal’ where we try hard to return to our normal lives, whilst underneath knowing that it is far from normal: no, I never previously thought starting work meetings with an adjustment of a camera, with the words ‘hello, can you hear me? Can you see me okay?’ was going to be the new way of living everyday life.
These everyday changes to our lives and expectations about the world take quite some getting used to, and for us and our children, may not be overcome with the new possibilities of 2021. Whilst 2021 will herald some form of more stabilised post-pandemic phase, it is important to remember that ongoing worries, concerns and anxieties, both for us and for our children, are normal and should, and can be, discussed openly.
That feeling strange or not at ease is a completely understandable; in fact, as psychologists we would be worried if there was no anxiety about the world and our lives in 2021. Our interactions – handshakes, closeness, talking, hugging – will all be different and probably for a little while longer to come. Many grandparents and families remain geographically separated, sometimes across international borders, and many of our work places and roles have changed as a result of the pandemic. Life has been shaken up and we should absolutely be allowed to feel dizzy in all of that change. The Australian Psychological Society has a wonderful resource with ideas on ‘coming to terms with the new normal’ (See attached).
In this way, I wonder if it’s more helpful to not think so much in terms of getting back to normal, but rather, recognising and allowing ourselves a period of adaption to a brave new post-pandemic world. With change, for us and for our children, comes anxiety and this is normal, productive. It helps us be aware of how we need to adapt to our changing world, and ensure our daily routines are workable in new circumstances.